Minimalism Isn’t the Goal — Intentionalism Is

For a while, I thought I wanted to be a minimalist.

You see the videos…empty counters, white walls, calm moms drinking hot coffee while their kids quietly play with one wooden toy. And I was like… yes. I want that. I want less stuff, less noise, less chaos, more time, more energy, more mental space.

And then I remembered something important: I have three kids. A 5-year-old, a 3-year-old, and an almost one-year-old.

Kids have stuff. They get gifted stuff. They grow out of stuff. They need stuff. And honestly? Trying to force “minimalism” in this season of life just made me feel like I was failing at something that was never designed for my life in the first place.

So here’s the reframe that changed everything for me: Minimalism isn’t the goal. Intentionalism is.

Not less for the sake of less…but better, on purpose, aligned with the life we actually want.

Buying Less Starts With Not Bringing It In

Like most people, I started by decluttering. And then I realized… the real problem wasn’t the stuff I already had. It was the stuff I kept bringing into my house.

One of the biggest changes I made? I deleted the Amazon app from my phone.

No more late-night impulse buys while lying in bed. Now I keep a list in my notes app of things I think I “need.” And here’s the funny part: by the time I actually sit down at a computer to order them, I usually don’t buy half of it. That pause is everything.

I also watched a documentary (I think it was Buy Now on Netflix) that completely rewired my brain around consumption. It talks about how things aren’t made to be fixed anymore. They’re made to be replaced. And once you start asking yourself, “What will happen to this when I’m done with it?”… it’s really hard to unsee.

Now when I buy something, I ask:

How long will I use this?
Is this supporting the life I want?
Can this be repaired, reused, or handed down?

If the answer is no across the board, it’s usually not worth it.

Fewer Clothes, Better Clothes (aka the Mom Uniform)

I don’t want a closet full of “cute outfits” I wear once. I want a uniform.

If I can’t wear it regularly (like, real life, school pickup, errands, park, repeat), I don’t really want it. That’s why I’ve been slowly moving toward higher-quality, natural fibers. Not perfectly. Not all at once. But intentionally.

I’m not a purist. My goal is something like 80% natural fibers over the next 10 years. That’s it. No pressure, just progress.

I also want to normalize rewearing outfits. I wore the same skirt and top to Mother’s Day, a birthday party, and a wedding. And guess what? No one died. Rewearing is not a failure. It’s practical.

Same goes for jewelry. I don’t want drawers full of cheap pieces that turn my skin green. I want a few timeless things I can wear every day. Pieces that last, that don’t clutter my space, and that actually feel like me.

When you stop buying for trends and start buying for longevity, you naturally buy less.

Doing Less = Living More

This summer, we didn’t sign up for a million activities. No packed schedule and no running from place to place. We asked one simple question: What do we actually want our days to look like?

The answer was easy: Outside, sun, water, home.

So we got a pass to the city pool. We invested in our backyard. We made our home a place we actually want to be. Not because we need less, but because we want the things we have to support our lifestyle.

This is the difference between minimalism and intentionalism. Minimalism says get rid of it. Intentionalism says: does this support the life we want?

Even preschool fell into this category for us. It just wasn’t working for our family. The schedule disrupted naps, work, and our overall rhythm. We made the hard call to quit mid-year and bring help into our home instead. And everything slowed down in the best way.

Doing less doesn’t mean doing nothing. It means saying no so your yeses actually matter.

Consume Less Content Too

This one is big.

Unfollow anyone who makes you feel less than. Full stop.

If an account leaves you feeling shamey, inadequate, or constantly behind, it’s not motivating, it’s draining. I started following accounts that celebrate motherhood instead of complaining about it nonstop. Not toxic positivity, just perspective.

I also unsubscribed from emails. All of them. Even brands I like. If I need something, I’ll go find it. I don’t want to buy things just because they’re on sale and sitting in my inbox.

And yes, I even use a physical phone-blocking device (Brick). My phone shuts off at night and social media stays locked until I physically unlock it. It’s been life changing for my mental clarity.

You Get to Curate Your Life

This is the heart of everything I teach.

If you don’t intentionally decide:

what your ideal day looks like
what your priorities are
what kind of mom/person you want to be

…you’ll just keep reacting to whatever comes next.

For example: I don’t love screen time but I value outdoor play more. So if we’ve been outside, active, connected, I don’t feel guilty about turning on a show. It serves the bigger picture.

Same with workouts. I realized I needed childcare to make it happen. Is it expensive? Yes. Is it necessary for my health? Also yes. Sometimes I work out. Sometimes I sauna. Sometimes I just breathe. All of it counts.

You don’t need to earn rest. You need to design a life that allows it.

Intentional Money = Intentional Living

When you set clear financial goals — saving, paying off debt, investing — spending decisions get easier.

When you “pay yourself first,” suddenly those impulse purchases don’t feel as good anymore.

Instead, you start asking: Does this align with what we’re saving for? Is this supporting how we want to live?

For us, that meant investing in winter gear so we could be outside even in Minnesota winters. It meant Marketplace kids’ clothes. It meant spending intentionally instead of emotionally.