HOLY HOLY OVERWHELM!! Positive Motherhood?

Is it you… or is it me? (An overwhelmed mom running on no sleep)

That’s the question I’ve been asking myself a lot lately. And if I’m being really honest, a lot of the time, it’s me.

It’s the nights I didn’t get enough sleep. It’s the days where I have zero buffer. The days where every little thing feels louder, more chaotic, more overwhelming than it actually is.

And instead of spiraling in that, I’ve been trying to catch it earlier. Like, oh… this isn’t my kids. This is me being exhausted.

Which means I know what I need to do: power through the day, go to bed earlier (sometimes literally at the same time as my kids), and try again tomorrow.

It’s a lot of accountability. And accountability is hard.

Motherhood Right Now Is… A Lot

I have an almost 5-year-old, an almost 3-year-old, and an 8-month-old. So we’re in a very intense phase of parenting. And I feel like there’s this weird tension in how we talk about motherhood. It used to be very polished—like everything looked perfect from the outside. Then it swung to the other extreme where it’s all about how chaotic and overwhelming it is.

And I don’t think either one tells the full story.

Because here’s what I’ve learned:Motherhood is hard. But hard doesn’t mean bad.

That sentence alone has helped me so much. A hard morning doesn’t mean a bad day. A tough phase doesn’t mean something is wrong. It just means… it’s hard right now. And I still get to choose what I do with that.

I Can’t Control the Chaos—But I Can Control My Calm

This is something I come back to constantly: I can’t control the chaos, but I can control my calm. (Even as an overwhelmed mom).

Not perfectly. Not every time. But it’s something to work toward. So instead of trying to control everything around me (which… good luck with three little kids), I focus on what actually helps regulate me. And so far, here are the 8 things that have actually helped me so far….

1. Fresh Air + Water (The Fastest Reset)

When everything starts to feel like too much, we change the environment.

We go outside, to the park, for a drive, to grab a snack… We just shift something.

And water has been a game changer. Middle-of-the-day bath, not to clean them, just to play. It’s grounding, it calms everyone down, and it gives us a reset without needing anything complicated.

2. The “Reset” Button (Literally)

If we’ve had a chaotic moment—fighting, whining, everything going sideways, I’ll just stop and say: “Okay, we’re going to reset.”

Hands in. “Reset on three.” 1… 2… 3…

Reset.

It’s simple, but it works. It breaks the tension and gives us a fresh start.

3. Figure Out Your Version of “Filling Your Cup”

People say this all the time: fill your cup first. But what does that actually mean?

Because for me, it’s not getting my nails done. It’s not a long hair appointment. Those honestly feel like chores.

What actually fills my cup is:

Journaling for 20 minutes
Going for a walk by myself
Decluttering a space
Making dinner
Getting out of the house with my kids

And here’s something I didn’t realize at first: You have to know what fills your cup so you can actually ask for it. No one is going to randomly offer, “Hey, do you want 20 minutes to journal?” But you can say: “Hey, I’m feeling overwhelmed. Can I take 20 minutes?” And most of the time, the answer is yes.

4. Stop, Drop & Connect

This one is huge (and honestly, inconvenient), but it works every time.

When your kid is melting down:

Stop what you’re doing.
Drop the distraction (phone, dishes, whatever).
Get on their level.
Make eye contact.
Get curious.

“What’s going on?”
“Do you need a hug?”

So often, they don’t need the thing they’re asking for…they need connection. And when you give it, everything softens.

5. One Thing at a Time

I used to rush everything. Multitask everything. Try to do five things at once. And it made everything worse.

Now I say it out loud: “We can only do one thing at a time.” Even my kids say it back to me now.

It slows down my nervous system, it calms the house, and ironically… things go smoother and faster.

6. Screen Time Needs a Plan

This was a big learning moment for me.

You can’t just turn off the TV and expect your kids to magically figure out what to do next, especially if they’ve been watching for a while. That transition is hard.

So now, I plan it:

“After this show, we’re going to do magnets.”
“Let’s pull out the markers next.”

You guide the transition instead of just ending it.

7. Reduce the Noise (Even for Yourself)

This is something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately and it connects more than I expected.

Overstimulation isn’t just coming from our kids. It’s everything.

The constant noise. The rushing. The multitasking. The notifications. The impulse buying. The feeling of always needing something else.

One small thing that made a big difference for me? Deleting the Amazon app off my phone. No more late-night impulse buys. No more scrolling and adding things to my cart because I’m tired or overwhelmed. Now, if I think I “need” something, I write it down in my notes. And when I actually go to order it later? Half the time, I don’t even want it anymore.

It’s the same idea as everything else in this season: Pause. Slow down. Be intentional. Less input = more calm.