Regrets? 5 things I'll change with our third baby

What fruit is baby this week? You mean how many weeks am I? Man, the experience with the first baby vs the third baby is night and day.

I think mostly because I have 2 other humans to keep alive, I don't just get to fixate on the baby in my belly. I think a lot of the changes with # 3 are mostly going to come out of necessity out of having 3 children instead of choice.

My mantra in motherhood is to do what works until it doesn't. (Then you pivot). I just watched the video I made about what I would do differently with my second baby and I didn't do some of them. So to preface, these are just ideas of things I think I may want to do differently. Plus, I have some things I plan to do the same.

Different

1. Feeding

I exclusively breastfed my first two until about 18 months. They did not take nuks, they did not take bottles, only boob. I night weaned them to get my period back so I could get pregnant again and then could not continue breastfeeding while I was pregnant. It just gave me the ick.

I think this is our last baby so I will probably breastfeed them a little bit longer since I won't have to stop by getting pregnant again, but we'll see.

My two girls love feeding babies bottles and in the past, I haven't had to pump so I'm trying to get my mind right. I did occasionally use Haakaa products which I loveeeddd. The Haakaa silicone pump is great and basically suctions to your boob to suck the milk out. But, treat it as a pump. I gave myself an oversupply after I had my first because when I put this on, I thought I was just capturing drips but I was really pulling milk down and it was coming out like a shower head. The Ladybug collector actually is a collector and catches drips, not pulling.

This time around, I am going to try the Colostrum collector which is something I have never done before. When your baby comes out of the womb, there is a smell your nipple releases that is similar to the amniotic fluid that makes them just go to your nipple. It's bizarre but also really cool. However, some babies can't latch, or if your baby needs to go to the NICU or something, you can have colostrum that you collected during pregnancy and have it ready. Colostrum is like the first little bit of milk that comes out and it has a ton of antibiotics, it seeds the gut biome for your baby, and other benefits. Plus, with this kit specifically, I saw some NICU nurses online saying they were impressed with the design of this and how easy it was to drop the colostrum out for babies in the NICU.

2. Sleep STRESS

With my first, and I think this is the case with a lot of people, was the most triggering and anxiety inducing thing ever. There's all this stuff out there about how if you don't do it a certain way or sleep train, you're messing up your baby and their sleep and it is SO stressful. But realistically, for the first 4 months, your baby just falls asleep wherever. It's all good. There's no “right” way to do it.

With my second, I was just always wearing her and she would fall asleep when she needed to which worked out beautifully. It was hands free for me, baby was happy because she was on me, and my toddler was happy because I could be focused on her and still be able to do everything with her since I had both hands available.

With the third baby, the thing I have been stressing about the whole time is that my other two still cosleep and I love it, but I have to keep this third baby safe too.

My midwife just told me to get this little bassinet type thing that goes in your bed and lays completely flat so the baby can be in my bed but then if the girls are also in my bed, the baby is still safe. So, I feel a lot better after that discovery.

3. Stuff

I don't need anything and I don't want anything!

With your first, you obviously have no baby things so you need to get clothes and a swing and all of the basics. I would recommend getting secondhand stuff.

Momaroo is something people swore by. My baby hated it. Cheap swing? Money! So, buy second hand and borrow when you can cause you really don't know what your baby will like and they only use these items for a short window.

We have cloth diapers, we have clothes, I have my carriers to do baby wearing…I really don't want/need anything else! I'm a minimalist and we have a fairly small house so I don't want a lot of stuff. And because I think this is our last, I'm really excited for the purge of baby items.

4. Stress

This time around, I just don't have as much stress.

I have not been checking the app, which I think is pretty common with subsequent pregnancies. They're the size of what fruit this week? I don't know.

I have also just adapted the mindset of do what works until it doesn't. We don't need things until we need things. If something comes up, then we're going to handle it, but I'm not going to worry about those things until they're actually happening.

After having our other two, I just know things work out and that we will figure out whatever is thrown our way.

5. Mindset

I know that my mindset has to be right for this third baby.

I have had anxiety around my mindset because I know that my mindset will be everything. So I will journal about those feelings, about my ideal labor, why I am grateful to be in the situation I am, how to make sure I am the best version of myself I can be even when I am overwhelmed, etc. to keep myself in the right head space.

It's easy to get engulfed in the stress but setting my mindset with journaling, and following my mindset guide will be huge.

Same

1. Labor

My labor experience is one thing I will definitely (try to) do the same. If I could completely repeat the birth experience I had with my second baby, I would.

Hypnobabies: I did Hypnobabies with my first two and will do it again with this one and it's fantastic. If you're into meditation or even just willing to try it, I swear by this. It is a game changer. It helps teach you to relax your body and let contractions wave over you. If you're tense, you're telling your body this isn't safe which makes your cervix tighten and causes pain. If you can relax and in turn, allow your cervix to fully open, it'll be a better experience.

Water birth: With my first, I had to get out of the water to deliver. With my second, I got to deliver in the tub and I have the option to deliver my third in the tub which I'm super grateful for. I'm not completely attached to that idea and I know it could end up not being the best option, but like having the choice to stay in the tub if I'm feeling it.

2. Pregnancy & Postpartum Workouts

It's no secret I'm obsessed with Expecting & Empowered‘s pregnancy and postpartum workouts. You can do the pregnancy ones for your entire pregnancy and the postpartum program you start literally the day you deliver. It's pelvic floor, 4 minutes of exercises/stretching to help you not be sore. I did it with my first and second and am obsessed and will definitely be doing it again.

3. Encapsulate My Placenta

I did not do this with my first but I did with my second. And it was a game changer. If you're in Minnesota, how2mom.com is who I used and she is fantastic.

In the same breath, my husband will say it is both disgusting and something everyone should do. He saw how HUGE of a difference my first and second postpartum experience was. And for me, I would rather have it and not need it than need it and not have it.

You have to bring a little cooler to the hospital, call your person to tell them you're delivering, and then they come pick up your cooler. It feels like a drug deal or something. But, they dehydrate the placenta and put it in little pills and when you consume it, it helps regulate your hormones. It helped me SO much! Some people haven't found it helpful, but again I'd rather have the option and just not use it if I don't feel it's helpful.

4. Probiotics

I take probiotics during pregnancy, postpartum, and I give them to my babies, which helps with their brand new gut biomes. We use Lovebug, which are little drops that you can put in the bottle or right on your nip. The code HeyShayla will get you a discount.

5. Chiropractor

I like to go to the chiropractor once a week. With my third pregnancy, I have pubic symphysis so going to the chiropractor just helps me keep things moving and keep things in line, I also think it helps a ton with any aches/pains and they will put K tape on my belly when my belly button starts getting sensitive and I think it's awesome.

I also bring my babies to the chiropractor. One of my kids always had their head titled to the side and they helped straighten that out.

6. Baby wear

I will absolutely baby wear. This has been such a god send to me. You can continue about your day, empty the dishwasher, run after the older kids, etc. all while your baby feels held. Plus, babe can nap on you wherever you go.

7. Cloth diapers

When we aren't out and about, we use cloth diapers. I have an entire blog post about how we do it. Plus, a one year review, with everything we learned and have tweaked.

8. Elimination communication

When people first hear about elimination communication, they usually think it's crazy, But, it makes things easier while they're in diapers AND helps them become fully potty trained much faster which is a major win.

9. Co-sleeping

Everyone has their opinion on co-sleeping but I am a huge fan. It helped me get SO much more sleep as a new mom and it's really special time with my and my babes. PLEASE educate yourself to do it safely, but once you have that knowledge, it is incredible.

10. Floor bed

Once our kids are old enough, we also love having a montessori floor bed. I also did a one year review on this, to go over why we love it so much and how to do it.

11. Breastfeeding

As long as I am able to, I plan to breastfeed this babe. Breastfeeding is not easy, but it is something I love doing with my baby. And, I have a list of things to make the process easier and more successful.

With my other two, we didn't use bottles. I'm mixed on doing it with this one because I prefer to breastfeed but I also think my two girls would LOVE to feed the baby with a bottle which would be pretty special. So, we will see.