I had no clue how to support a new mom…
Before I became a mom I had zero clue what the best way to support a new mom was and how would I? Now I know when I go to visit a friend who's recently had a baby, I need to bring food, be flexible with the schedule, do some chores (if they're comfortable with that) and to make sure I'm not being too pushy because it is stressful being a new mom! I didn't want anyone taking my baby so I could sleep… that seemed more stressful to me!
Also when you ask a new mom what she needs… just don't. She probably has no idea! Her brain is turned off. She'll say “she's good” or that she's “fine” and she really might be, but that doesn't mean that she doesn't need some basic help. |
So, to support a new mom, instead of asking what she needs, offer what you'd like to do and ask what day and time would be the best to do that. You can also just offer to just drop things off at the door!
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If you are about to be a new mom, here are some tips for you with baby number one:
- Your baby needs you. They need to be fed, to sleep, to get their diaper's changed, and to be clothed.
- Baby is the easy part in those early days it's YOU need to take care of. You’re likely learning how to breastfeed while also trying to repair from either major surgery or vaginal birth AND possibly navigating breastfeeding. I have entire blogs about how to make breastfeeding easier and how to heal after labor. I wish I had had these blogs when (or before) my daughter was born.
- Expecting & Empowered. I seriously cannot recommend them enough and I am an ambassador and affiliate with them (meaning if you use my code I will make a commision). I have worked with them since 2019 because they are incredible for pregnancy to prepare you for labor and for postpartum to help repair you from labor. The guides were created by a nurse and a woman's health physical therapist. Workouts include stretching, pelvic floor exercises and exercises specific to each week of pregnancy and postpartum. This is crucial to make sure what you're doing is safe! I can't even explain how incredibly helpful this was during both pregnancy and postpartum. This is one of my top recommendations for any soon-to-be mom or new mom. Use my code HEYSHAYLA for $10 off any of their guides.
How to show support for a new mom:
- Ask about the mom first: When baby's first born and you call to check up on them, ask about the mom first. This is the easiest way and still one of the best ways to support a new mom… sometimes they're struggling and don't want to say. Just listening is so helpful. Sometimes they're doing fantastic and want to tell you all the incredible things they're baby is doing. Just listening is so helpful.
- Be honest about any illnesses you may have: (even if it's just a cold) AND if you've had your vaccine or not. Then, honor whatever the parents are comfortable with and what they have decided for their family. Everyone's “rules” are going to be different, and may even contradict themselves. We're all just trying to figure it out. Don't question it just go with it!
- Have groceries delivered to their house: healthy snacks they can eat while breastfeeding and frozen food they can prepare easily whenever they want. Make sure to ask about dietary restrictions they have (this can change a lot while breastfeeding).
- DoorDash gift cards: They're amazing for when the new parents are still in the hospital and for when they get home. This was one of my favorite things people did for us! Get $30 off your first order with my give $30 get $10 referral link.
- COFFEE: One of the best gifts I received as a new mom was a growler of coffee. It was good for both mom and dad.
- Meal Train: If you have a group of friends/family, set up a meal train for the new family. Each person signs up for sending them a meal every other day.
- Offering to do chores/favors, this can be super helpful as well. Here are some favors my friends shared that were done for them: someone came over to mow the lawn, hired someone to deep clean their house, cut their hair in their home, and gifted new cute pajamas for postpartum.
All of these things are so helpful and SO appreciated by new parents.
First and foremost, when you're a new parent, take care of YOU and babe. And, as a friend of a new mom, don't ask what you can do… just do! The little things go a long way.